Doesn’t time go fast! It’s been a while (Dec 4th 2012 to be precise) since I posted a personal update…… and this is proving to be a difficult post for me to write…. I’ve been staring at this ”edit post” page for 3 days now. I’ll warn you now, this may not make a lot of sense and be quite rambling with no recipe, so skip out now if your looking for some fab wheat free goodies. I’ll do some more of those soon!
My title sums it all up really, I feel like I’m falling apart and overwhelmed would be the best way to describe me right now. Cor, what a downer I am!!!!!!! (You still have a chance to look away. LOL)
Almost 3 years of no sleep really messes with your head. But on a positive note, my little dancing princess now has 20 teeth and is potty trained (daytime anyway)!!!!! HOORAY…… We’re still teething but at least all the teeth have now made an appearance so it cant be much longer. We’ve all had numerous colds, sore throats, chesty coughs for last couple of months. BOO…………
I couldnt resist, she is my sunshine xxx
Food wise, on / off plan would best way to describe it. There are reasons for this. Bear with me.
Health wise it has been a bit of a roller-coaster since September. Those who have followed my Dukan blog know that during Dukan I had a few niggles relating to my digestive system, possible food allergies, etc. Since September (adding in wheat / sugar) (removing wheat / sugar) these problems have been amplified 100 fold. Mid December I felt so atrocious I even took a trip to the doctors. Those who know me, know that I hate doctors and would have to be feeling completely at the end of my tether in order to go and see one. Anyway, I went and wished I hadnt. I wish I was surprised by this outcome and we had a health profession that actually cared but as we all know money talks and because we dont ‘pay’ for our health care in the UK (except through national insurance contributions deducted from earnings) the level of care isn’t really up to much, in my limited experience.
I went in explained a few of my symptoms whilst trying to give her a little background about my weight loss, she felt my tummy, went back to her desk, started working on the computer, as I was about to tell her the rest of what had been happening, the printer started whirring away and she handed me a 7 page document on IBS and said at least it helps to know what the matter is with you, read this. Well, I had worked myself up so much, to basically force myself to attend this appointment that I just broke down at the thought my concerns were being dismissed and I was being fobbed off with a leaflet on IBS. Especially after I’d already done more research on IBS than what was contained in the leaflet. She seemed very apologetic and said she could do a blood test for anaemia if I wanted and if I still wasn’t feeling well in 4 weeks, I could go back and see her. Needless to say I haven’t been back.
In brief my symptoms – headaches, heartburn, shortness of breath, occasional high blood pressure, low blood sugar, fainting / dizzy spells, spots over vision, nausea, hives / itchy rashes after eating almost everything, bone / joint pain, diarrhea / constipation, steatorrhea, malabsorption, receeding gums, light sensitivity, lactose intolerance, lacking energy / motivation, exhausted but suffering with insomnia, easily bruising, cold sores / mouth ulcers, tingling in hands / arms / feet / legs, depression, bloating, water retention, cold hands and feet, dry itchy eyes and changes to my tastebuds. I’m sure there are a few more but I think that gives you an idea.
From my own vast research I have narrowed possibilities to – gluten sensitivity, SIBO (small intestine bacterical overgrowth), possible CANDIDA/Yeast infection/parasite, leaky gut, related thyroid issues. But honestly I feel it all stems from leaky gut caused by gluten sensitivity. I foolishly went back on to wheat to do a Coeliac Disease test but after 4 1/2 weeks I couldn’t stand it any more, I was supposed to eat wheat for 3 months. The past few months have been all consuming, physically / emotionally draining, I haven’t felt able to blog as well as everything else, you know when you just get fed up of thinking about food, symptoms, health, food, symptoms, health, blablabla.
I have now got a decent probiotic, some specific vitamins to help with the issues and am working on adopting a GAPS / SCD diet plan to try and heal myself. I’ve also cut out all dairy products and now only use goats milk, yoghurt and cheese. I can definitely feel a difference in reactions, I’m not having any, which is good, no great.
I suppose the reason for putting off an update is because blogging forces me to think and analyze my emotions, my body is so powerful at putting me in denial and allowing me to gloss over things, that sometimes, I don’t even realise I’m doing it. It just came to me today really, its almost like a survival mechanism. I eat well but feel worse. Scientifically I know that this is just a ”die off reaction” by the body, similar to the cold / flu like symptoms you may get at the start of any low carb plan. But physically / mentally my body is trying to protect me from these awful affects. It tries to convince me that the pain is too much, dont put yourself through it.
Its so hard to eat well, feel great for a week and then the symptoms kick off, and trust me they are serious, trying to cope with a rambunctious toddler and these issues is a lot to take. It is upsetting because I feel like I should be able to cope better, I feel like a failure because I’m struggling with it all. My weight is up, but it’s not that which bothers me, I know I can lose weight, I know how to lose weight but I want to be healthy, I wish I knew how to do that.
Hopefully pairing everything right back, possibly for some time and taking the probiotics / vitamins, etc will help, if not, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m just grateful that there are so many doctors / people in the medical profession willing to share experiences / theories / treatments on-line. Dr. Davis (Wheat Belly author) did a great article on when going wheat free isnt enough and the further steps you may have to take in order to improve your health.
I’ll let you know how it goes, I am aiming for 1 – 2 posts per week. That seems achieveable for now, I hope. Thanks for your continued support as always. Love Sonia xoxo