I am finally taking some time to get my blog up to date, you may have already noticed a name change, changes to the widgets, etc, etc, oh and an abnormal amount of posts! ;) I read so many things I want to share, so I’m trying to make it happen. I really enjoy sharing great recipes too, I know we all have different tastes but I love to try things that others recommend, I hate trying recipes that haven’t been through some kind of prior taste testing!
It seemed a little daft to be looking at a blog called ”My Dukan Diet” when that isn’t what I’m doing anymore, so I’ve changed it to a positive, more appropriate heading ”A wheat free wonderland”. I feel really excited about the changes that I’ve made, so I definitely know that they’re right for me. I need to concentrate on & enjoy the foods that I choose to eat instead of feeling like I am depriving myself by not eating wheat laden ‘goodies’.
Life is hectic and stressful as usual, Amilee has been teething pretty badly lately, both her back bottom molars are coming through, not fun! So not alot of sleep, but I’m feeling so much better than I was. Thanks to everyone for your lovely comments and support. The last few months have been an absolute rollercoaster and unfortunately not a good one! The fact that it has all been self-inflicted only makes it harder to take.
P.s. This is going to be quite a lengthy post…………… hopefully not a boring one though! LOL.
Since my holiday I have been on & off the Dukan wagon numerous times, each time feeling like I was losing more control, more motivation, the scale was going up but never down enough between each period of bad eating, average weight each week was going up. I felt helpless, out of control, my depression was starting to spiral out of control again and getting me to the point where I didn’t care……………. Sound familiar????? Almost without detection my silent assasin i.e. my wheat addiction was in full swing again!!!!! Thinking about food constantly, mood swings, aching bones, tummy troubles, I felt numb, like I was losing all touch with reality. People may say I am exaggerating, how can something like wheat cause all these things to happen, but trust me, it can!!!!! The only thing that I had changed in my life was my diet, it can’t have been anything else, I have proved this to myself multiple times, but didnt want to accept the reality of it. Before Dukan I was in such a mess, I can’t even describe how awful I felt every day. It’s shocking how quickly your body can go back to that place.
The best way I can describe it – I was acting like an spoilt child, you know when your parents tell you to do something and although you know its for the best you don’t want to accept it because you just don’t want to do it! Its taken me 3 months and a weight gain of 12.25lbs / 5.5kgs for me to realise and accept what I NEED TO DO. I’m very fortunate I managed to keep it together a little or it could have been alot worse. Instead of focusing on all the great, incredibly tasty things I can eat, I was focusing on what I couldn’t eat, what I kept convincing myself I wanted. This is the problem with dieting and falling off the wagon, mentally you are attracted / become obsessed with what you can’t have, or what you are told you shouldn’t have.
I read an article by Jamie over at Your Lighter Side which really hit me hard, she said and I quote;
”I wonder how many people live sick every day for their entire lives, never even aware they’re allergic and compromising their immune systems and wearing themselves down in the process.
Understanding the way I’ve felt the last 24 hours, and knowing that the endorphins from harm to my body made me feel “good” from the food allergies is sobering. Eating foods I’m allergic to is a physical/chemical sham that causes damage to the blood/brain barrier and to the gut. It’s a drug addiction, only the addiction is to the negative side effects of the chemicals causing the changes (namely nightshades and wheat).
Who needs that?”
I thought she is completely right, I had never thought of it like that, but I like the bad affects I get when I eat wheat. That’s pretty messed up I know…… I’m still trying to figure out why. Is it because I don’t think I deserve anything better? Is it that I lived that way for so long, its a comfortable place to be? Is it that I like to be self-indulgent with my depression?
It has been 6 days since I started my ‘low carb lifestyle’, I’m still figuring it all out but its great and I am loving it. I have eaten when hungry, (hard to get back to for the first few days!) been fully satisfied and had some great tasting food, but the thing I have found strangest is not putting so much emphasis on protein….. That’s a hard one to work my Dukan trained brain around It took 3/4 days for me to stop feeling the wheat affect, mentally and physically. It is so liberating, not to be thinking about food all the time, not to be in pain, not to be tired, not to be depressed but thinking quickly / clearly.
Main thing I have learnt – its never too early to start planning your Maintenance. Don’t leave it till the last minute, you need to have a concrete plan in place, with a solid plan B aswell. I was on Dukan for 10 months and the time went by so fast, I wasn’t prepared mentally for my diet to end and it has taken me 3 months to get back on track and back to a happy / stable place. Learn from my mistake, trust me, you don’t need to put yourself through it.
Happy Wheat free day xoxo